(Yet Another) Julep Maven Warning

  Hey all!  I had one thing planned for today but the course has changed a bit.  Lots of you have heard about Julep Maven, a nail polish subscription program in which you get two to three nail polishes, beauty products, or combination thereof, for $19.99 per month.  You've probably heard some nice things about this program, the company, and its products.  You might love them and never have any issues and not mind the increasing number of hoops they make their customers jump through (the latest being, new Mavens cannot skip for more than six months in a row; those with the program before a certain date, as I was, are grandfathered in).  Or, you might have had a completely awful experience and never want to use them again.

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Painting my nails or talking about makeup has really been feeling like a chore lately.  Part of it's quite superficial-- I've got a lightbox en route to me that I can't wait to play with.  Also, I can't seem to moisturize my cutes enough, despite having balm on me at all times, lol.  Part of it's my own personal demons trying to get the best of me; the last few weeks have been a little difficult.  Then this week rears its ugly head, and there's a big shooting in a mall my mom and I used to love to go to, and there's a bunch of stabbings at a school in China, and there's the unspeakable, unthinkable tragedy across the country from me, in Connecticut.  The whole world's gone mad.

Painting my nails and talking about makeup feels so silly, unnatural, forced.  I heard about Connecticut before my first break this morning.  As each new shift came in, they'd say the same thing-- "Did you hear..." and throughout the day, we'd get updates from people and just close our eyes against it, try not to let it be real, and say how horrible, senseless, tragic.  My facebook today has been filled with news clips and posts of my friends, family, and Castle Age gaming buddies trying to make sense of something that does nothing but shatter your heart.  I put up a couple, myself, one about praying for my young nieces and nephews because this is the world they're being brought up in, and one celebrating a young man playing the violin outside the grocery store I frequent for lunch.  Yesterday he made me smile; today he made me cry.  Both days his music has been beautiful.

I don't deal well with this kind of thing.  I bury my head in the sand, and I am lucky I have the luxury of doing that.  After 9/11, I didn't open a magazine or read a newspaper for weeks.  Today, I can't seem to open any of the links on my Yahoo home page and I hate to see it every time I open my browser.  It makes me want to change my home page back to Yahoo Sports so I can be greeted with the frivolity of the Lakers' losing streak rather than the things that really sting.

But, they're here.  Across the country there are families in pain I hope no one close to me ever has to experience.  And whether or not you or I want it to, it puts things into perspective.  My family is flawed, and infuriating at times, but they're here.  They're alive.  I get to spend Christmas with them.  I get to.

I also get to make another batch of white chocolate fudge for my company Christmas party this weekend, because life goes on, and my boss likes my fudge.  My lightbox should be arriving within the next couple days, and I'll redo my nails in the color I had on today and tell you all about it.  My life gets to return to normal.  The heaviness in my heart will subside and I'll get back to my routine, to fighting my familiar demons, to trying not to let family stress get to me.  Yet it isn't the same.  This holiday season has been peppered with darkness and there's a great shadow cast over it this year.  But when life seems at its darkest, the Light shines all the brighter.  I get to celebrate that Light and indeed it does take on a more poignant meaning this year.  Celebrate your relationships, all of them.  Savor your time with your family and friends.  Love and be loved.

I leave you with a verse from my favorite Christmas carol, one that's appropriate all year around and deserves to be taken to heart.  Let this be the season of Hope.  God bless each and every one of you. <3

O Holy Night, the stars are brightly shining

It is the night of the dear Savior's birth.

Long lay the world in sin and error pining

Till He appeared and the soul felt its worth.

A thrill of Hope

The weary world rejoices

For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn

Fall on your knees

O hear the angel voices

O night divine

O night when Christ was born

O night divine

O night

O night divine

This Week's Big News....

So I decided a while ago that I wasn't going to rant on anything anymore, that I'd just keep it light and fun and strictly about nail polish and makeup, but I feel like I can't just ignore this whole bullying thing.  I'm not going to go into the incident's background; if you've been paying attention the past day or so, you've most likely seen something about it.

Here's the thing.  We're mostly women in this community, and a fairly awesome group of them who are very accepting of new concepts, ideas, and breaking norms.  Most the time, the blogging community is kind, supportive, friendly, and accepting.  But, because we are who we are, we judge.  We all do it.  If you've ever compared your blog to another's and thought anything at all, you're guilty of it.  I'm most certainly.  It's fun and cool out here, but it's also crazy and fickle and filled with things that don't often make sense.  It's natural to have those kinds of thoughts, and in this particular environment, it's healthy to have an outlet.  But there is a HUGE difference between admitting and owning your insecurities and trying to fix them and lashing out and going on the attack.

I tend to speak without thinking and get pretty emotional about certain things.  I unapologetically called such actions pathetic and b****y in a discussion last night, but the fact is, no one knows what's really going on in the perpetrators' heads but themselves and God, and maybe it wasn't fair of me to judge (there it is, again) such actions so harshly.  You've heard that saying, Hurt people hurt people?  I suspect that's the case here.  These gals are kind of standing alone.  Two wrongs don't make a right.  

The support rallied for the anti-bullying cause and those hurt by this little incident is staggering and inspiring.  I said this whole thing made me wish I wasn't even involved in blogging, but the fact is, the kindness in this community SO vastly outweighs the negative.  

You never know what is truly driving someone's actions.  I've certainly been reminded of a truth today.  Bottom line, be nice.  But you all know that, and practice it regularly.  You gals are the most rockinest readers in the world.

Love, Liesl

Photoshopping the Flaws

Good morning!!  I recently learned that some of the major bloggers (no names disclosed) out here photoshop their cuticle lines-- not their cutes, themselves, but the area around them, giving them a perfectly clean look usually achieved by a brush and acetone (right?).  It's been upsetting to some, under the argument that nothing's real and how does one compete with someone who photoshops out the flaws; it's seen as cheating.  The playing field is not level.

I suppose it's a question of what you want your blog to be in the first place.  Is it a competition for you, or are you strictly in it to have fun?  I will tell you when I started, I wanted to be big, and some of you know how wrapped up in and discouraged by the passive aggressive competition of the blogworld I got.  It wasn't pretty, and while I think, in this female-dominated world, the competitive tendency is always there, reigning that in makes the whole journey so much more enjoyable.  I think we all get that, otherwise we wouldn't still be here.  But, we all have our moments, public or not. 

I don't follow many major blogs, but it does not bother me if some of these gals photoshop.  First of all, I'm sure it is a whole new ballgame once you reach a certain point.  The more PR contacts you make, the more collections you're under the gun to swatch, depending on what kind of time you have (because we've all got lives beyond painting our nails) maybe it's faster and easier to clean up via computer.  It's certainly not as hard on the nails.  Perfection as such may be a way of combating the negativity that the internet is notorious for.  The more out there you are, the higher the chances internet meanness is going to rear its ugly head.  If you give them perfection, what is there to put down?  

I get the sentiment, though, really.  But we all have a unique flavor to our blogs, and if someone wants the perfection in her photos a computer can offer, well, more power to her.  Each of our blogs is unique and personal, and we all have or own flavor.  A nice photo is, well, nice, but nothing makes up for good, genuine content.  For my part, I photoshop, in small doses.  I fix bubbles, specks, hair/fur (which is in abundance, thanks to my Sal Pal), if it isn't too much of a hassle, little things I didn't catch until they showed up in high resolution.  I also adjust the lighting from time to time.  Is that dishonest, or is it maximizing my pictures to their best?  They're still mine.  It's still work I've done.  

As for the big league gals... they've gotten to where they are through far more than their perfect smile lines.  And what constitutes a big name, anyway?  Is it all perspective?  A four-digit GFC count?  Just curious.

Thanks for reading!  Filed under "rant" simply because I don't want to create a new tag every time I have a deep thought. lol.  

Signed, Happily Photoshopping in City League <3 <3

Is it just me, or....

I've been feeling a little sorry for myself lately. 

I've been blogging on here for a little over two months.  My photos and my paint jobs were absolutely terrible when I started, and I've learned, practiced, and gradually improved, and with my improvements came the excitement that maybe I'd be good enough for people to actually want to pay attention to.  And I'll admit, that's the whole reason I started.  I love an audience, and I love to write.  I've always wanted to have nice, manicured nails, but I couldn't motivate myself to spend the time and energy necessary to keep them looking pretty on a daily basis.  The discovery of a world beyond OPI, the allure of instant publication, plus the opportunity to write and the possibility of actually being heard, nudged me to start blogging.  Painting my nails is fun, but writing about it is better.  I've gained a few readers in one capacity or another, which is totally awesome, but naturally, I want more.  So how do I get myself out there in the ridiculously, insanely supersaturated world of polish and beauty blogging that I've now dove headlong into? 

One of the first things I learned was that just because you follow someone and leave a few comments on their posts does not mean they will follow you back.  All the talk of support in the world will not make someone follow your blog if they don't want to.  And, that's been a little discouraging for me, especially in my enlightened little state of improvement.  And so, the second thing I learned is that this is a seriously passive-aggresively competitive hobby.  It is hard seeing new blogs' popularity rise stratospherically while you're still plinking away, and you can't for the life of you figure out why; how is anyone else's visibility any greater than yours?  My writing's more engaging and my photos at least as good as so and so's, so Y NO ONE FOLLOW MY BLOG??!!!  It's all too easy to start playing the comparison game and take this as the huge popularity contest the members gadget can tend to make it. 

There are truly a lot of genuinely friendly, supportive women doing this who want nothing more than to make friends and have someone new join the party.  But, struggling as I am, I've found myself guilty of this passive-aggression, trying to bait my fellow bloggers somehow into visiting and following.  I've felt a little smote when I've received a kind comment and gone back and followed the commentor's blog, only to receive nothing more, so I've done the same thing and told myself that I won't follow anyone unless they follow me first.  My comments sometimes feel more like fishing than genuine enthusiasm.  How terrible is that?  and stupid?  But at the same time, I'd love to know the secret formula, what I'm doing wrong, why when I write the big-timers for advice, it falls on deaf ears, and why I'm growing so slowly.  I've seen girls ask their readers what they'd like to what they'd like to see more of, ask generally what entices a person to follow a blog, be warned against "buying" readers with too many giveaways, all things I've been tempted by but largely wish to stay away from, because....

This is, after all, MY blog.  It's what I like, and maybe there are people who like the same things.  Why should I change my voice simply to gain popularity?  And that brings me to another observation, which is the alarming amount of apologizing we do on our blogs.  I'm sorry for the poor photo quality; I'm sorry for my dry cuticles; I'm sorry my nails are uneven; I'm sorry my cat clawed my finger last night (ahem).  WHY are you sorry?  First of all, life happens, and NO ONE'S hands or nails are perfect.  We all know what it's like to fight with the weather and the lighting, to get a hangnail, and it is silly to expect our hands to appear kept under glass.  We live, we have kids, pets, jobs, chores.  And we're apologizing for our own art, whatever stage it's in.  It is a known fact that some people are overly fickle and judgmental and make fun of others' chosen or God-given nail shapes, and some scoff at a less than perfectly executed photo.  There are also those who think you're great and like what you're doing enough to come visit you every day.  You don't owe either group an apology. 

So anyway.  In all honesty (while I'm into my fifth paragraph of it) I sometimes wonder what I'm trying to do.  This all feels so cutthroat sometimes that I feel like doing away with LLPT and sticking with my cooking stuff.  But the truth also is, it's fun.  At its best, I'm getting to write, watching my photography skills improve, I'm discovering new things and thinking more creatively in terms of color than I ever have, and cultivating friendships.  It's not all about the numbers, or the comments.  It's about the journey and the experience. 

Time to really heed that advice.