Sunday, December 1, 2013

Good-bye, Soft Sal ♥

Hey everybody.  This is hard to write but I feel like it needs to be done.  I'm not sure why-- maybe writing it out will feel cathartic, I don't know.  C and I made the decision to put our Sally cat down on Friday afternoon.  It's been a remarkably crappy weekend.  She's been in our lives since one month after we were married and has been my little blogging buddy from the start.  Every little thing reminds me of her and all I want to do is go back in time to Thanksgiving day but to have her back would be nothing but selfish on our part.  
She hadn't been herself since we moved to our house, though.  Sometime this summer we started to feel like this day was looming and inevitable, but tried to tell ourselves otherwise and that there were certain things we'd just learn to live with because that's how she was now and nothing we did seemed to alter that.  We didn't stop to think that maybe Sally didn't want to live that way.  She'd go through periods of complete seclusion and we couldn't tell if it was part of her new pattern or if it was because of treatments we'd tried, but sometimes it seemed she hated us and was just sinking within herself.  For the past two weeks, though, she was so lovey and affectionate, almost like she couldn't get enough of us.  She slept with us every night and when we got up, she'd come into the computer room and sit on the table and wait for me to sit down and start doing my thing.  I know I've said it before-- many a post has been composed with my Sal Pal hanging out on my lap.  And she'd hate to get off, too, whether in here or out on the couch while we were watching tv after dinner.  She used to get all put out if even the slightest shift was made.  She'd jump off my lap in a huff and ignore me for the rest of the night.  But for the last couple weeks, she wouldn't let either one of us get up.  She'd fuss if we tried to move her, immediately crawl right back on if we were successful in removing her, settle in further, and finally slide off when we'd stood up to the point where she could no longer fight gravity.  And when we returned, she'd be there waiting so resume her position.  She even started draping herself around my shoulders like a shawl while I puttered around the kitchen again, something she hadn't done since she was a youngster.  Maybe she knew what C and I wouldn't admit.  Those last days, though we didn't realize it at the time, were filled with so much love and cuteness and good memories.
Here's the last photo I took of her, resting on my lap a week prior to the day she passed.



My fluffy little girl.
Tears are, like, pouring from my eyes as I finish this.  I've referenced this piece of prose for friends and family when they're lost a pet, and read it myself in preparation for the inevitable.  Choosing a pet is choosing inevitable heartbreak.  It's easy to say that it's worth it all but my gosh, it hurts like hell.

The Rainbow Bridge

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together.... 

(author unknown)

I'll love you forever, my little Sally.  You were the meanest, foulest, rudest, most rotten little cat I've ever met and I'd do anything to scritch your head one last time, for you to put your nose in my nose, to chase you off whatever surface in the house you knew you weren't supposed to be on.
But you're healthy and happy now and I can't wait to see you again.  My beebee.

  
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

24 comments:

  1. Ugh SO sorry honey! I'm choking back the tears. My fluffy Bailey is 13 yrs old and not himself lately. I am dreading that day... Much love to you and warm soft hugs to remember. I adore that she was so affectionate at the end. <3

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  2. Oh no, I'm so sorry! Rest in peace little Sally.

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  3. So sorry for your loss
    Kisses and hugs

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  4. Oh sweetie I am seriously in years for you and your loss. That pain is the worst and I have been there. *Hugs* I know how much she meant to you and you are in my prayers for healing for your precious heart.

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  5. Oh Liesl, I'm so sorry! Losing a pet is like losing a family member-- they are part of our family!! It's never an easy decision, even when it's the right decision. Lots of hugs for you and C!

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  6. So sorry to hear about your loss. It's always hard to lose such a loved member of your family.

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  7. Reading your post brought tears to my eyes. I am so sorry for your huge loss. <3

    ~ Yun

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  8. So sorry for your loss. It's the worst feeling ever. Prayers for you and your husband.

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  9. Oh my dear Liesl, tears run down my cheeks as I read this, what sad news. I admire your and C's courageto have helped beautiful Sal leave in grace - this is the ultimate gift and final sign of love you can give to a beloved pet. Feel hugged my thoughts are with you xxx

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  10. I am so sorry to hear about your loss. My heart goes out to you in this sad time. :(

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  11. Oh I dread the day that I have to go through this. I'm so so sorry for your loss Liesl. The part about her putting her nose in yours made me smile though.. Kitties have such unique personalities! I'm sending all of the positive vibes I can muster your way xo

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  12. Oh I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm in tears. I still miss my cats like crazy and it's been 6 yrs since they died. Hugs <3

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  13. I'm so sorry, Liesl. You said it perfectly when you said that to choose a pet is to take on inevitable heartache. Right now I have 4 cats and a dog, and unless something very wrong happens, I will outlive them all. Just thinking about that inevitability hurts so much, and I have to remind myself that it's better than the alternative--of me not having them to love for so many years, and of them not having a loving home, and probably extremely premature deaths on the street. I know that doesn't help when you lose them, and I wish I had a magic phrase to make your pain go away. But don't forget that you are an amazing person for opening up your life and your heart to a creature that needed you, and agreeing to that inevitable pain so that she could live a good life.

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  14. I put off commenting for a bit because I wanted to say something eloquent, but I can't. My heart breaks for you but know you've got a friend in me if you ever need one!

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  15. Oh Liesl, I'm so sorry. I have 3 cats and a dog and love them all so much! I know my heart will break when their time comes. :( You gave her a happy home and lots of love while she was here, that's all she could ever want. <3 Btw, I LOVE the pic of her sitting up on the bed. That is SO cute!!

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  16. My dear Liesl... You actually made me cry with this post.. I am so so sorry about your kitty!!! I can't even imagine what that's like... Big hugs to you my friend!!!!

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  17. Ahhhh, what an awesome post. I'm so sorry for your loss. Pets are part of the family and I understand what a huge loss it is:( I wish I could give you a hug!!! Take care.

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  18. I know how hard this is-since I am a cat person too. I have a card of the Rainbow Bridge from the last cat I had to put down. Try to remember that you gave your baby a good life that they wouldn't have had otherwise. I'm so sorry for your loss

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  19. I know nothing can truly make it better, but my heart goes out to you. A gorgeous kitty!!! This made me tear up. From knowing you on the blog world, you are an amazing person. hugs

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  20. I am so sorry to hear about your loss. Pets are family members, and it's just as hard losing one. I'll be thinking of you and your hubby.

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  21. Oh Liesl! How could I have missed this?!?!? I know all too well what it's like to lose a furry part of the family. Sending warm thoughts and fuzzies to you and I'm so glad you and Geddy found eachother <3

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